jamesinchina.com

I have very long legs. Though they have some advantages, such as projecting my head into a position where I can survey a sea of heads in every direction at Beijing south railway station and being able to stand stably on Hainan's bucking bronco buses (piloted by chain-smoking daredevils on crack), they have their downside.

One such downside is long-haul flights. So, as you can imagine, I'm bright and early at the check-in desk with a breezy 'Are there any emergency exit seats available?'. I sometimes get lucky, too, I've now clocked up at least 5 flights of six hours or more where I can stretch my legs as far as I like (with accompanying 'aaah'). I can recite the extra safety information the stewardesses give you back to front and could probably crack open the emergency exit blindfold. But this was to no avail.

On the latest flight from Harbin to Haikou I finally got to the check-in desk before the masses and there was an emergency exit place remaining. But not for me. Apparently, foreigners are not allowed to sit in the emergency exit seats. Though I understand the patriotic spirit that wants to put comrades' lives before that of the foreign devils, surely this was a step too far? The check-in clerk explained to me that they were afraid that a foreigner may not understand communication from the stewardesses in Chinese in the case of an emergency. I pointed out that the fact that we were having this conversation proved the contrary, that according to regulations the stewardesses all must have a certain level of English, that a foreigner in China was likely to have considerably more travel experience than a domestic traveller and most of all, that all the emergency instructions in the plane were written in English. Not to mention that in an emergency, you open the door and get the hell out of there. No real need for any communication...

None of this had any effect other than to make the poor clerk look rather embarrassed. Rules are rules, and he has his neck to consider. Oh well, another cramped 6 hours in store.